Not Such a Loner
by Holz9364
Summary: Richard Poole is perceived as a bit of a loner, people always accuse him of never being in love, but how can they know that? They don't know him. In a moment of vulnerability Richard actually talks to Camille about these strange foreign things called feelings... just a oneshot!


**Not Such a Loner**

Richard Poole got asked about his personal life a lot, he got nagged about it by people. People like Camille poked their nose where it didn't belong, in his business. This last case had done it again, they'd asked about him, they'd said he wouldn't know, that he'd never been in love or that he'd never been married. What right did people who hardly knew him have to say things like that or ask questions so personal? They didn't know the answer and why should he tell them?

Richard didn't tend to drink often, he never really had, but on this occasion after the case had finally been closed and filed away, he found himself sitting on his porch with a bottle of beer in hand. It was slightly cooler now that night had fallen but the air was always humid and dry, which he hated.

'Tough case, huh?'

Richard instantly recognised the voice as Camille's, but he still jumped, he hadn't expected her to be at his house. How had she gotten in the front door anyway? He didn't turn around as she made her way out onto his patio, holding one of his bottles of beer. She gave him a sad sort of smile as she sat down next to him and sighed deeply.

'I suppose so,' Richard said cryptically, never giving much away, as usual.

'I don't suppose you would know how she felt,' Camille added, not in a pushy way, or a nasty way, in fact the casual tone with which the comment was said only hardened the blow, 'you've never been married.'

'Why would you assume that?' Richard asked his colleague, aware of the harsh tone lacing his voice.

Camille seemed momentarily surprised as Richard put his beer down on the table and got to his feet, 'I have been in love and I _have _been married. It might have been a long time ago, but it happened. I might not know much about your strange island and its customs and how people here show love, but that doesn't mean I've never felt it!'

He didn't rant very often, but when he did it was like an explosion of anger, it wasn't directed at Camille, it wasn't her fault but she was the person in front of him so she was bearing the brunt of the blow.

'So you have been married?' Camille asked, she was surprised but otherwise unfazed by this random outburst of anger, 'what scared her off?' she asked jokingly.

A dark look passed across Richards face and he turned away from Camille to look out over the calm sea, there was not even a slight breeze, there hardly ever was on this godforsaken island.

'A bomb,' Richard said, not angrily, just sadly, it was a tone that Camille had never heard him speak in. Richard didn't turn around but he heard the small intake of breath that Camille emitted as she brought her hand up to cover her mouth.

'She died in the London bombings, she was on the train when it happened,' Richard said quietly, his voice chilled Camille to the bone even though it was a warm night with no breeze.

'I'm sorry sir,' Camille said in a small voice, 'I didn't realise.'

Richard turned around to face his colleague and Camille was scared because she didn't recognise him for a moment, his face was dark and he looked like he was haunted by something, she quickly learned that something was guilt.

'Do you know what the worst part was? It was supposed to be my day off, we were meant to spend the day at home painting the babies room, but I got called in on an emergency so she got a train to visit a girlfriend,' Richard couldn't stop speaking now that he had started, 'if I hadn't been so goddamn obsessed with my work my wife would be alive! And I would be a Father right now!'

Camille was crying, she had never realised how deep a man Richard Poole was, he was clearly something very different under his cool, calm, but grumpy façade.

'Amy died 7 years ago Camille and I have never so much as kissed another woman since so maybe I don't know what love is anymore or what it looks like to be in love, but I do know what marriage feels like and I know what losing someone you love feels like,' Richard was vaguely aware that he was crying, but he hadn't spoken of this for many years so he wasn't really surprised that the painful memories were bringing him to tears, 'but I do know I would have had a 7 year old son right now if I'd just cared about my wife over my work!'

What happened next was a bit of a blur, but Camille hugged Richard and he let her do so, and he was pretty sure he cried, but nothing was said for a while until Richard regained enough of himself to feel embarrassed and pull away from the hug.

'I'm sorry,' Richard said, sounding more like the awkward man Camille knew, 'I shouldn't have burdened you with that.'

'Don't worry,' Camille said with a faint, but sad, smile, 'you shouldn't have had to bear it alone to begin with.'

Richard just shrugged at this and looked out over the sea once more, the sky had gotten even darker since the last time he had done so, 'I'm fine, just tired.'

Camille nodded, she understood when she was wanted, and right now Richard wanted her to go so she got to her feet and made her way to the door through his house.

'Oh, and Richard?'

Richard turned to look at her and said, 'Yes?'

Camille gave the Englishman a small smile and said, 'Don't worry, I won't tell anyone that you have a heart.'

With that she left the house, leaving Richard alone to his view and his thoughts once more, he managed a small smile at Camille's comment about him having a heart and felt slightly better for having someone know that he wasn't a complete loner, or at least that he hadn't always been this way.

All of a sudden and out of nowhere a wind swept across the balcony, but it cooled him, it didn't chill him. He smiled slightly and whispered, 'Thank you Amy.'

_**The End **_


End file.
